If I am being honest, there are quite a few things I feel guilty about on a daily basis. And I’m beginning to realize that this guilt is at the root of some of my anxiety and stress that holds me back from my goals.
I feel guilty about
- not getting all the house stuff done by the time my husband comes home
- getting impatient with my baby
- feeling lazy
- watching Netflix when there are chores to be done
- not reaching my daily goals
- snacking and not being on a training plan
- losing my temper with either of my children
- forgetting something – ANYTHING for that matter
- not making enough money to compensate my husband’s paycheck
Wow. That’s a lot to feel guilty about.
What brings on such guilt? I have a few ideas.
- Pressure to perform
- Pressure to meet unrealistic and self-inflicted standards
- Pressure from finances
- Pressure from parenting
- Self-perceived pressure from my parents and friends
Who am I joking? All of that pressure is my self-perception.
I am a stay at home mom. I’m not required to clock in or clock out or reach a quota or attend a meeting everyday. Everything I’ve chosen to get into has been on my own accord. How easy it is for me to forget that I can get out of any of it as as quickly as I got into it!
Momming is not the only thing I have going on. Sometimes, I wish it was; and right there is my signal to begin scaling back! And then I love that I have the flexibility and freedom to do so much more. The truth is, I don’t know what I want some days, and I need to remember that no one is requiring me to do what I don’t want.
All this pressure I feel is self-perceived.
I don’t need anyone to tell me that it is completely unnecessary to be feeling guilty. I do need to have a regrouping session with myself and streamline my priorities and determine what is and isn’t non-negotiable.
What I’m getting at here is a lesson I’m pulling from all my years in the classroom.
Students perform best when they feel at ease and are having fun. When the learner is free of pressure, she learns the most. As soon as student feels overwhelmed or scared or confused, she shuts down and nothing is accomplished. The trick to good teaching is getting your students to love what they are doing.
Isn’t it the same way for the rest of life? We thrive when we love what we’re doing.
It’s time for me to throw off the pressure, be free of guilt, and do what I love – as a wife and mom. It’s time to thrive.