Tears… and frustration

I made a student cry in class the other week. I didn’t feel good about it at ALL.

This student has been a particularly frustrating case for me all year, and it’s not his fault. But unfortunately, as a crappy English teacher, I sometimes make it out to be that way.

I felt so awful and even more frustrated with myself as soon as I saw the tears well up in his eyes. I wanted to cry out of sheer frustration. I was running (am running) out of teaching juice – I was at a loss for all ideas or innovative methods that could have inspired understanding in this kid’s mind. I immediately changed the student’s task and relieved him of the dreaded writing assignment he couldn’t seem to complete correctly.

He needed a fresh start. I needed a fresh start. We both needed a change of scenery, and that is so true in most of life’s frustrating situations.

One of the reasons I started this blog was to give myself an outlet for a rather large portion of my life the last four years: teaching English. After 4 years of working for a WONDERFUL institution who has done nothing but take care of me and cater to the needs of my cultural differences and expectations, it’s time for a fresh start. 

No, I’m not going to stop teaching altogether. Unfortunately, I still can’t do that yet. I’m simply going to take up a different teaching position that requires less hours, less innovation and less initiative in the teaching process. I’ve faced many challenges in the classroom that have taught me so much about myself and human nature. It’s now time to simply teach for a smaller school with less administrative responsibilities and required meetings. If I don’t give myself a fresh start now, it will just be another year of tears and frustration.

I LOVE KIDS. I EVEN LOVE TEACHING. I simply need to put myself back in a place where I enjoy it again.

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