I’ve come to realize that I was not called to be silent. Let me explain before those who know me start laughing out loud. Sometimes I’m under the impression that all my thinking entitles me to a certain right of silence about my experiences and ideas, especially the crazy ones that I seem to be eternally processing. I only express things once my thoughts have been refined to readiness and clear articulation. This is great – for complex issues. But miracles have turned out to be much less complicated than I once thought.
Last Thursday, I went for a run. I went 12k (7.5 miles) and was feeling pretty good, which was a little surprising since I hadn’t run for over a month. New Year’s happened, then I was sick with a sinus infection for 3 weeks, then winter vacation finally came and I travelled the world for a couple weeks. It was time to start running again (especially now that my runner’s knee was healed!) so that’s what I did.
After my run, I started experiencing this intense pain on the side of my right foot. The top of my foot hurt as well, but the pain on the side stayed and made it extremely painful to walk. I kept my pace slow, thinking it would soon wear off. It didn’t. I googled the issue and was advised by a Runner’s World Forum to go see a doctor. Other runners who had experienced the same kind of pain found this to be the best first step before trying to google self-help solutions. So on Saturday night, a Taiwanese friend helped me make an appointment online with an orthopedist.
The next morning during our team meeting, I felt compelled to ask the team to pray for my foot. (I don’t know, maybe it had something to do with experiencing God’s healing before.) After praying, the pain went away and walking was no longer painful. It was crazy. Then at church that night, the floor was opened up for testimonies. The entire time people were sharing, I felt like God wanted me to go up and share about my foot – and not only share. He also wanted me to ask for more prayer since there was still some pain around my ankle because of the way I was walking when my foot hurt. What happened next still amazes me:
Sharing time had ended and Chris was about to start preaching his sermon. My hand shot up in the air. (I always try to wait it out when I feel like I’m being pulled to the front.)
“Chris! I have something to share.”
“Victoria! I was thinking about making you come up here. Everybody! Victoria has something to share!”
So I went up, took the microphone and, feeling extremely inarticulate and needy, said – and I’m paraphrasing my own words here – “You guys are my church family. This is why I’m up here saying this. It’s a big step for me to be up here. Who was here when my leg grew? Who saw that? (Hands all over the room shot up.) The pain in my knee ever since then has been gone, but I went on a run last Thursday, and after the run, my foot was really painful. It hurt to talk. So the team prayed for this morning, and the pain went away. But there’s still some pain around my ankle and I believe that if you all of you pray for my foot right now the pain will be gone and my foot completely healed.”
You can see everybody praying for my foot in the picture. My foot was completely healed and there’s been absolutely no pain since then. I didn’t bother going to the doctor Monday morning since it would have required me to wake up way earlier than I preferred, and – I’m not saying this as a rule of thumb – I really didn’t feel like I needed to. GOD HEALED MY FOOT.
The conclusion of the matter? How can there be a conclusion? All conclusions we draw in this life are bound to change. But there is one thing I can be sure of: It is impossible for me to know everything there is about the God I have chosen to believe in. And because I can’t know everything about Him, I am also incapable of saying what he can or can’t, will or won’t do. I don’t know. All I can do is trust God every time he reveals more of Himself to me. It’s like getting to a know a friend and taking her at her word when she tells you something about herself. Maybe it’s shocking or surprising or unexpected, but she told you. And you trust each other because your friends, so you believe her.
I have no choice but to believe it when God heals me. When he gives me this experience of his power – and more importantly, of his love and compassion. It doesn’t mean that I’m completely comfortable with or even sure about what is happening, but it means I believe. I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES.